Satellites featuring Taylor Negron and Logan Heftel

Read Taylor at The Huffington Post/236.com and at RealTALK LA.

Hate Couture

Conservative observer Michelle Malkin has called Rachel Ray's keffiyeh scarf "hate couture." Michelle, let me tell you what hate couture is--low riding, hip hugging jeans on women over the age of 60. Nobody wants to see old muffin tops drooping over a belt. It's hateful. Hate couture is gay...

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Rick Rolling

In my ''80s," Rick Springfield and Rick James could kick Rick Astley's ass...
We have all found ourselves torn between the desire to cling to what we have and know, or move on and readjust into a new way of life--the best thing is to go into the past...

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My Mother

My mom and dad are New Yorkers who left the tenement streets of the Bronx and came to Los Angeles when West Side Story was real. They have the scars to prove it.
"They used to break bottles on a fence and follow me home. Look where they got me."...

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Diary of a Polygamist Woman

No female Polygamists? I found one.

One of the biggest polygamy cases in the nation's history became more complicated Monday when Texas officials found the first female polygamist, Wilma Anne Jefferson, known to her sect members has Mama Misty.

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Project Runway: Tranny Ice Cream

Since everything is in our heads, we had better not lose them. - Coco Chanel (creator of the little black brain.) With his cute little emo haircut and cock-sure strut, Christian Siriano's big win on Project Runway confirms what I've always believed...

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Millionaire Matchmaker, or Love in the Time of Chlamydia

There is something honest about prostitution, but the thing to remember is that we pay whores to leave, not to stay. Sometimes, if we really have a lot money, we pay whores not to talk on television! On the new Bravo series The Millionaire Matchmaker...

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The Oscars: There Will Be Liveblogging

All of the backstreet boys... Brad Taylor Negron: Ahhhhhh! Brandon Snider: ...is Lou ... want to experience chocolate thunder?" Brad Taylor Negron: She NEVER MENTIONED the name ... Daniel Day-Lewis? More like Samuel Taylor Coleridge, right guys?! Duncan Quirk...

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A Gentle Return to Nude Modeling

The WGA strike has been settled, and I can honestly say that I don't want to write movies or blogs anymore: I have decided to become a nude model with the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency. So far I have posed nude for Nike, Taco Bell and Gold Bond...

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The Whore's Whisperer

This Valentines Day, diamond jewelry commercials are like Jenny Craig commercials with wings, manipulating the emotions of already broken people. The ads are aimed at the heart of that minority of folk who go to the mall and buy shit at Zales. A...

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Super Bowl Sunday Is the Loneliest Sunday of the Year

I have never watched the Super Bowl. Is that unpatriotic? Go ahead, hate me, I can take it. It gets harder every day. Sports have taken over. I can't go anywhere without seeing multiple flat screens unapologetically playing ESPN, ESPN 2, and ESPN CLASSIC...

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Politicians Should Act More Like Popstars

The Iowa caucuses and the New Hampshire Primary were very water cooler-friendly and I heard people talking about them with an intensity and concern usually reserved for The Biggest Loser or American Idol. They have become another reality TV show to...

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Jesus in the Mailbox

The holidays come and my secret shame floats like spent tinsel. I was excommunicated from the Catholic Church when I was two days old. I know you must be asking, "What did little Brad dribble to be kicked out of the kingdom at such a tender age?" It's...

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A New Generation of Christmas Carols

Do you hear what I hear? Why are Christmas carols sending me into a rage? They didn't last year. This generation needs its own Christmas carols. Bing Crosby died so, why are we still letting it snow? This nostalgic fantasy doesn't apply to this jaded...

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Post-Traumatic Shopping Disorder

History teaches us that war begins when governments believe the price of aggression is cheap. Nobody said anything about the price of electronics... On "Black Friday," 147 million Americans went shopping from sea to shining mall. A day of cursing...

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Thankfully

I am thankful that Bruce Jenner is not my stepfather or step daughter or interior designer or whatever he is now. I am thankful that my father is not Robert Kardasian who defended OJ Simpson. But that I have my own father, who defends Glenn Beck. I am...

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Magic Is More than Just a Johnson

just make some quesadillas and call it a night. If not, I knew I was going to find his hocus in my pocus. He looked at me: "Brad Taylor, I would like to give you the date rape drug, but I ran out." Touched by his honesty, I said, "well, we could use mine ...

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Michael Jackson, Jesse Jackson, and Me

In these days when we are all forced to see the Dog deal with his inner puppy, I yearned for a little racial relief, and jumped at the chance to go to Rev. Jesse Jackson's 66th Birthday celebration at the Beverly Hilton. Chris Jackson, who works for...

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FOX News Orphan

The other night I turned on the TV and heard Glenn Beck say, "If Liberals have their way, soon a kid won't even be able to go into a toy store and buy a cap gun." (Add sneering dismissive hand motion here.) The tone in which he spoke out of my TV was so...

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